I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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