I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize