I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
