very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
