Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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