He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
