Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
