soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
