Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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