I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
