Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
