OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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