Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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