Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
