all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize