epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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