Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
