look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
