rhymes with "ouble enetration"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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