He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
