arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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