one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
