the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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