Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
