some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize