we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
