So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
