i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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