good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
