Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
