If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
