i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
