I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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