He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
