Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize