sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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