She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
