In America we eat man semen.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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