Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize