don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
