Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
