I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize