My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
