i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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