To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
