Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
