The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
