I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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