That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
