whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
