you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
