I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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