how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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