I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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