The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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