Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're a waste of cheezeits
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
