There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is this like a preordered booty call?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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