PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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