i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
