College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
