Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
