how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
